so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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