just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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