im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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