Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize