I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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