he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
