Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
