it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
