And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
