Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death