I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.