Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
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Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
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I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.