For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize