Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
