Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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