Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
