My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
