There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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