he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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