so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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