what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
