hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
