sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I will be naked everywhere
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
