If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
