Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I want her autograph on my taint
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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