I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They took my balls.
I can't turn off my feet"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize