Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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