He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
