I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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