For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
