sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
