mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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