So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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