nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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