yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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