I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
