I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize