shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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