I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I've blown a few things in my day
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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