Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
