You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
