I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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