you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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