Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
