I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize