i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
