whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
