She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
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My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
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That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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