The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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