I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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