this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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