Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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