Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
