At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
