That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize