You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
