Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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