Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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