I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
