help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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