Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize